Alone? I think not.
2002-12-08 | 7:57 p.m.

I was going through some old stacks of papers, magazines, and notebooks, and I found something I wrote quite a while back. It was before I came out to anyone, and while John and I were still roommates, I think. So a little over two years ago. I remember writing it very late at night in my bed. It was just freewriting, so it's wonderfully unpolished. You can tell there was a lot going on in my mind when I dumped it onto the page. It was a timely find, because I've been feeling kind of alone lately. So this reminded me of something really nice. Anyway, here it is:

I am not alone. Jesus is with me always. I never come home to someone I love, because the One I love is with me when I leave and when I return. Whose embrace could compare to the strong, safe arms of my Lord? Who can be trusted to guard my heart besides its creator? There is no one but Christ who is able to satiate my hunger for love and quench my thirst for security. Only He will ever love me selflessly. Only He will always be here for me. Only He will never disappoint. Who can compare to that? Who among my brothers and sisters [in Christ] would show even as a small flickering candle next to His great bonfire of passion? There is none. No, not even one who could cause His radiance to dim or His majesty to diminish. I will live forever in the cleft of the Rock of Ages. I will be consumed for all Eternity by the fiery passions of the truest love. When the sun ceases to shine and the moon fades into nothing, I still shall BE. Thanks to Christ! I am Eternal, as He is Eternal. I shall forever worship at His feet praising His Glorious name and basking in the purity of His love for me. And until I meet Him in His temple, my spirit will reside in this one. No one shall ever taste of my flesh, and no one will ever drink of my soul. I belong to the Lord only. I am His to keep. I am His to give. And now I am going to sleep in the arms of Christ, the lover of my soul, the only Lover I may ever know.

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