C h a z a q It means "Strength" |
horoscope I don't believe in horoscopes, but here you go: Aries: (March 21�April 19) You'll be exonerated when the grand jury admits that you had no choice but to set fire to Grandma. Taurus: (April. 20�May 20) You must admit that you're sleeping better than ever, but it's kind of unpleasant to wake up every morning with a blowgun dart in the back of your neck. Gemini: (May 21�June 21) You'll feel faintly embarrassed about your decision to release the beast within when you see how fuzzy and cute it is. Cancer: (June 22�July 22) Those who fail to learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat its mistakes, which is why the Japanese will launch a bombing raid on you Sunday. Leo: (July 23�Aug. 22) Once again, you'll drink yourself into insensibility while watching the videotape of your 1997 Where Are They Now? segment. Virgo: (Aug. 23�Sept. 22) You will have a violent argument with a pastor, a congressman, and a judge over how many wrongs make a right. Libra: (Sept. 23�Oct. 23) You'll try to maintain a healthy perspective, but you can't shake the feeling that $87 billion is a whole hell of a lot of money. Scorpio: (Oct. 24�Nov. 21) You'll always have someone standing at your side to love you, no matter how many times you try to escape by skipping town in the middle of the night. Sagittarius: (Nov. 22�Dec. 21) You like to think of every day as a fresh new challenge, which would be inspiring if you didn't fail each challenge. Capricorn: (Dec. 22�Jan. 19) In today's high-tech business world, it's good to pause a moment to remember that you're there to sell truckload after truckload of dildos. Aquarius: (Jan. 20�Feb. 18) Despite what the doctor says, you don't have a heart problem. You get excited, your heart stops, you fall down�no problem!!! Pisces: (Feb. 19�March 20) Well, the stars tried, but somehow, you've been left more or less in control of your own destiny this week.
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