C h a z a q
It means "Strength"

I'm evil, again.
2003-06-07 | 9:49 p.m.

Well, I have another update for later, but I thought I'd go ahead and write this. I'm chatting with a friend, and he left for a moment, so I'm doing this to occupy myself. Here you go:

So, ONCE AGAIN! I have been declared evil by someone. What is the deal with that? First my biological dad's family considers me to be the bane of everything they hold dear. Then my coworkers jokingly (but only kinda) blame me for Vonda's heart attack. Yeah sure, I was born and everything went to ruin in my family. Sure, I said, "Vonda only has six months to live," and she walked into the room at that moment and was having a heart attack. But it's been over a year since then, and she's still alive. There was that time my professor anounced his wife was pregnant, and I got up right away and left, because I knew she was going to lose the baby. I didn't CAUSE her to lose the baby, though. Ok, and yes, I'll even admit that a probably unusually high number of people I have been associated with have committed suicide. Does this make me evil? NO! They are coincidences people!! Good grief. Why are people so supersitious and so in a hurry to find a scapegoat for the wrongs in their lives?

Why not blame me for the drought here in Texas and the hail when it does rain? You know what? Screw it. I admit it. I hold sway over the hearts and minds of all men. I can control the weather and fluctuations in the global economy. And YES. Saddam Hussein did have weapons of mass destruction, but I caused them to all be hidden just so people would think they were lied to. Your recent break up? I did that. That paper cut you got last week. That was me. You didn't get promoted. HA! That was one of my favorite mean things to do to you. But best of all...every negative thought, every nightmare, every single psychological issue you have ever had...those are all my gifts to you. Why? I'm a grafitti artist at heart, and I decided a long time ago that human lives make the best canvases.

So I hurt people. And I'm sorry, but it's not going to stop.

And if you believe that, you've never met me and you have absolutely no idea who I am or what Christ means to me. Do me a favor though, ok? If you do decide I'm evil for whatever reason. Be kind enough to let me know WHY. The person who told me that I'm evil earlier today said it wasn't worth the time to explain why. But I was threatened quite passionately. Apparently, a great attempt is going to be made to out me (including fliers, so watch out...and please don't litter if you get one. Frame it or trash it). And there were physical threats too. Why? I have no idea! I'm being blamed for something that I absolutely could have not possibly orchestrated. But that's so typical.

Ok, people, if I'm really that evil, don't threaten me. FEAR ME. If I can do all this stuff, don't think I'll stop where I have. I'm human which means I don't have the same capacity for mercy that God does. So heed that message, please. For your sake. And if you don't really think I'm evil, then leave me alone. I didn't do anything.

But in all seriousness and sincerity know this: I serve a mighty and all powerful God whom I call Father. I am His child and He will always protect me. For your own sake, stay away.

Hebrews 1:7 In speaking of the angels he says, "He makes his angels winds, his servants flames of fire."[ 1:7 Psalm 104:4]

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