1983
2002-11-04 | 10:07 p.m.

Last night I had this wild dream that I went back in time to 1983. So I was five. It was very vivid, as my dreams tend to be. I think about the concept of going back to a point in my childhood a lot. I just want to go back so I can warn people about all the bad stuff that's going to happen and try to prevent most of it. But there's one event...if I could just change one event...the whole world would be different. And that one event is Harve's suicide. I won't go into details, but it sent a shockwave of immeasurable repercussions throughout my little West Texas world. But that was when I was eight.

So here's the thing. I go back to 1983. I'm five. I see all my friends from kindergarten. I spend some time looking around for Becca before I remember that she doesn't get there till later on that year. I make a mental note to keep her from breaking her arm soon after she arrives. I see Amy. I see all these people, and I can't believe I'm back. We go throughout the day and have recess and everything. As the day wears on though, I realize that I'm not the only one that came back from the future to inhabit the body I had in 1983. Everyone went back to 1983. Everything started over from that point. Most people seem to be taking it in stride, but we still have a town meeting in the practice field at sunset. And we all accepted that we had a second chance...that things didn't have to turn out the way they have.

Of course, once I woke up I thought about what it would really be like if that did happen...if we all went back 20 years but kept the knowledge we have now. Everyone would be rushing to be the first to do things that have already been done...Bill Gates would definitely have more competition. People would probably be more cautious with sex and alcohol. We might study a bit harder, pay more attention in school, savor the fun times with greater appreciation. And a lot of really good things that have happened never would...people might spend years looking for the person they had met in a chance encounter before...all the little things that happened naturally in life without effort would be altered, replaced by other little things..new regrets formed, new pleasures experienced...and in the end, it would be the same...the same building with different bricks. Everything leads to one thing, no matter how we get there.

Jesus.

My point? You can do a million things in life...make a billion different choices. In the great scheme of things, though, the grand finale is the same. We are nothing more than vapor. A mist in the desert sun, a fleeting shadow cast by a flickering candle in the night, a nanosecond on the great timeline of existence. And everything we do, everything we are will be routed from the depths of memory. Only Christ will remain and those who have sought shelter within Him.

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